This HR dept doesn’t negotiate with Terrorists.
"Studying the Happy People"
Nicole Ponce often wondered how some people can be happy
Such an odd way to be, since humans are meant to feel crappy.
So she kidnapped these strange folk, took them to her secret lair
The underground laboratory, that she keeps under the stair.
She sticks twelve happy peoples in tanks full of nutrient-enriched goo
(And while it’s a small sample size, it’ll simply have to do)
As they float in the tanks for years, she pokes and she prods
Studying the reactions of these poor happy clods.
While they don’t seem as happy as before, they still seem quite fine
They quickly adjusted to life as test subjects, and hardly cry n’ whine
No matter what Nicole does, the happy dolts stay the same
Just happy to be alive, and they seem to smile without shame.
As the experiment ends, Nicole finds it’s worse than she feared…
All conclusions of her study suggest that happy people are just weird.
Nicole dissolved her test subjects in acid the next day.
Originally Posted 12/5/2012
(Starring the lovely Nicole Ponce of Lyricalpuppetry.tumblr.com!)